when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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