Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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