Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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