mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
This is my gift to your gina
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Randomize
