I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah