i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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