halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
