So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
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