I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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