some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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