He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
FUCK WHALES
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
