I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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