I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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