Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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