seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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