I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
