i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
