But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
