dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Shame - the story of my life.
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