I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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