the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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