The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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