I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
im holly from the hills drunk
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
