i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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