she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think I have vodka in my lungs
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
