Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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