White coat. Heels.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
