Can i not drive my cunt home
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize