thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Houston, we have a squirter
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
