i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
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Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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