I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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