I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize