But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
