no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
