its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
