i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
How drunk are you?
Completed.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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