NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
