I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
