waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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