Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
