pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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