I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize