where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
