So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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