One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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