the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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