Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I think people are normalizing furries
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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