I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
