Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think i got beer on your cat.
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