***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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