So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
