Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
