She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
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3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
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Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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