I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
