I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
