Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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