my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
