...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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