Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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