i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
