get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize